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under constant spiritual attack. It is not surprising, then, that two of the Ten Commandments deal with family. The fifth command commandment deals with the parent-child relationship.

Obligations of the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12)

A. Children Should Honor Their Parents

The first obligation is that children should honor their parents. So how do we do that? How do we honor your father and mother?

1) First, you respect their position over you as parents. Leviticus 19:3 says, "Each of you must respect his mother and father." You should show respect with your words, with your body gestures and with your attitude, not only when you are in their presence, but also when you are not.

2) A second way you honor your father and mother is by loving and valuing their person. Proverbs 23:26 says, "My son, give me your heart." And Proverbs 31:28 speaks of children rising in the morning and calling their mother blessed.

This distinction between respecting the position and loving the person is especially important when you are dealing with a parent who acts in less than respectful ways, for example, an alcoholic or abusive parent. You may not be able to respect the person in such cases, but you can still respect their position as parent and love their person regardless of their faults. Of course, you will need the Holy Spirit's help to love and forgive those who have hurt you.

3) A third way you honor your parents is by submitting to their authority. We read in the gospel of Luke that twelve-year-old Jesus went down to Nazareth with his parents and "was obedient to them." (Luke 2:51) Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

4) And then a fourth way you honor your parents is by accepting their discipline and instruction. The book of Proverbs says, "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck."

Parents should help their children observe this command

Parents have an obligation to help their children observe this command.

1) First of all, instruct them in God's ways. Deuteronomy 6:7 says to take God's commandments and "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." This is one of your primary responsibilities as a parent. Of course, that means you must be learning God's ways yourself in order to teach them.

2) Secondly, discipline your children. The book of Proverbs is full of good counsel on this. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6) "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15) "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother . . . Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." (Proverbs 29:15,17)

3) Thirdly, provide for your children's needs. The apostle Paul says in a different context that "children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children." (2 Corinthians 12:14) The context is different but the principle is the same. It is the parents' responsibility to provide for their children's needs. By this, I mean their physical, spiritual and emotional needs. Sometimes, not always, a child is misbehaving because his needs are not being met in a certain area. We need to make sure we are not contributing to the problem by not meeting a child's needs.

4) And then fourthly, do not provoke your children. That's what Ephesians 6:4 says: "Fathers, do not provoke your children." to anger.

Parents, you need to be careful how you treat your children. You are the primary motivator in their lives, and you can help them fly or you can take the wind right out of their sails. Do not frustrate them; do not provoke them to anger or make them bitter.